Inquisitor Cthulhu: Quest for glory
by Dreamsofiron
Summary: Quest for glory, steel and power!
1. Chapter 1

Trapped in crimson gaze of blood lust, Cthulhu stabbed the screaming sky unleashing wave after wave of emerald gore to kiss the dark primordial planes of the endless ground. He was proud inquisitor serving His Holy Majesty Emperor of Mankind in pride and solitude. After the flood of gore cleared he spotted the horde of daemons coming his way.

He grabbed his long Manly sword decapitating 100 daemons in one mighty blow. "Is there no one bold enough to challenge me!" he screamed while boiling with bloodthirsty rage. Singing prayers to Odin he finished the remaining daemons in tornado of flesh, blood and vengeance.

After the carnage was completed he heard a dark and mysterious voice, "Do you know yourself, brave warrior?" said the dark and seductive voice in a lusty way. "Who said that?!" screamed Cthulhu while ruining his sexy and goth uniform. When the smoke cleared he realized that the voice belonged to a lusty demoness, he started sweating like an animal fearing that she will ruin his manhood and further devastating his metal punk uniform.

"What do you want from me foul creature!" he growled while truing to look cool. "I want you to betray the emperor and join the path of orgiastic lust and freedom!" she screamed like banshee of ancient times in the ruins of enchanted mist. "Never!" he roared in defiance and jumped to cut her down with his sword.

But she evaded like the singing blade of Horus and he only managed to stab her toe. But little did he know that she had a cyber toe because she lost her real toe in the dark and half forgotten war. "You missed, now it is my turn!" she screamed in climaxing passion of the dark angel that swallows the eldritch sunset.

Proud Cthulhu was wounded in this vicious attack and he screamed for the Emperor to send his angels to aid him. And the skies of light answered his call. Coming down to the surface, like the legion of light, came hard as balls space marines to reek the holy retribution on this wretched planet.

"Now it seems that the table is on the other foot!" ejaculated proud Cthulhu in the whirlwind of pride and rage. But then, out of nowhere, all of the space marines were killed by the doorstep. "Oh shit, don't kill me please!" pleaded the brave Cthulhu like bear in heat.

"I will spare your life, but from now on you have to be my slave!" gasped the demoness with dissonant emotion of false pride. "Of course mistress, what ever you say!" whimpered the brave Cthulhu like wounded gazelle.

"First I want you to kill Samwell Tarly the arch daemon of the screaming abyss!" rasped the demoness while feasting on the souls of undead deceased parrots. "I will teleport you to his space ship, but be aware of his infernal power!" she finished like the fallen dove of Anubis.

"I will do it, O graceful sorceress!" whimpered Cthulhu wile creaming his epic uniform.

What happens next, you decide. Stay tuned for next exciting episode of Inquisitor Cthulhu: Quest for glory!


	2. Chapter 2

In those dark forsaken nights Cthulhu was transported to the space ship of the mighty daemon lord Samwell Tarly. Lost and alone Cthulhu felt despair but his iron will overcame sadness and started to explore the ship.

In the next room he was greeted by the repulsive sight of 1000 daemons so he quickly unleashed his sword and liberated their grotesque heads from their shoulders. "For Odin, for Emperor!" he screamed in orgy like fury of the weeping blade.

The room after that was the throne room where dark lord Samwell Tarly ruled surrounded by gold stolen from thousand worlds and the lusty slave wrenches that were sucking his manly lard ass. "Get out foul bitches, this is between me and him two big strong men!" growled Cthulhu like diamond dragon in the halls of Hades. "Aren't you going to ravish us!" gasped the lusty wrench in her lust. "I have no time for that, this is war!" ejaculated Cthulhu with the pride of the sinking ship.

"So we meet at last! I heard stories about your courage, lets put them to the test!" gargled Samwell Tarly in his dark solitude. But in that decisive moment Cthulhu tripped and fell on the self destruct button of the space ship. "Noooo! You will kill us all!" roared Samwell Tarly in his final moments of despair. But it was to late, far to late for now anyway, the ship has exploded killing the daemon lord but Cthulhu survived because he ran in time for the bomb!

And then our brave hero landed on the dark and empty planet, on that planet the demoness was waiting for him. "You killed him, well done." she smiled at him. But then her head exploded releasing a shower of blood, brains and bone fragments!

Behind her was the grand Inquisitor Chuck Norris holding his long, hard, manly gun! "You fiend! You betrayed humanity!" Chuck Norris boiled with rage. "I can explain..." Cthulhu whimpered while creaming his leather uniform of perfection. "This can not be explained! You will spend the rest of your life as a SLAVE!" roared Chuck on top of his lungs!

And so our story ends dear readers... May the old Norse gods watch over you! To glory! To Ragnarok!

Authors note: This story is the metaphor for the alienation of the modern man an the decay of the urban areas, but only the smart among you could see this simple and delicate fact!


End file.
